Blake’s WCW Uncensored 1996 Review: Doomsday Cage Match

In this WCW Uncensored 1996 review, Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage team up in the infamous Doomsday Cage Match.

Let’s jump in.

  • Show: WCW Uncensored 1996
  • Date: March 24, 1996
  • Location: Tupelo Coliseum in Tupelo, MS

Konnan vs. Eddy Guerrero – US Title

This was about what you’d expect from these two dudes. Well-paced match with a lot to like. The finish was odd due to the announcer explanation, but overall, this was great stuff. I’ve never been a big Konnan fan, but he was fine here. Guerrero was superb as always.

The Belfast Bruiser vs. Lord Steven Regal

Considering how brutal the Nitros were leading into this pay-per-view, it’s shocking that we’re now two-for-two on this show. This was the opposite of the opener in that it was a stiff brawl from start to finish. Regal got his nose busted open along the way to add to it. They fought to the Doomsday cage before the Blue Bloods interfered to cause the DQ. The match itself was fun, the ending was not. Still worth the watch.

Colonel Rob Parker vs. Madusa

This started the downfall of this pay-per-view as a whole. Nothing against either individual, but this wasn’t the first two matches. However, this was far from the worst thing on the show and that’s saying something. This match went less than four minutes and there isn’t much of a reason to say anything else about it.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. The Booty Man – Retirement Match

If you’re friends with Hulk Hogan, you can do what you want in WCW in this era. Booty Man is simply not good in the ring, and the only thing that saved this match was Kimberly getting involved. Of course, the match itself was lackluster thanks to the Booty Man. And of course, he won the match to send Page into “retirement.” Booty also got to kiss Kimberly afterward. 

The Giant vs. Loch Ness

What could go wrong here? This was a complete squash. Giant was surprisingly athletic at this stage in his career. That showed when he took a bump over the ringpost in the corner and onto the floor. Shortly after, the Giant won with the leg drop. Less than three minutes, and that’s all it needed to be.

The Road Warriors vs. Sting and Booker T – Chicago Street Fight

Friendly reminder that WCW had a Chicago Street Fight in Tupelo. When you think of a street fight, you think of a rather compact, intense competition that involves a lot of brawling. This match didn’t have much of either. And it went 30 minutes. 30 minutes! This was arguably one of the worst 30-minute matches I’ve ever seen, and you’re talking to someone who has always liked all four men. The combination and stipulation made no sense, but this was pre-nWo in 1996, so that’s no surprise. Sting and Booker won, and it was no fun.

Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, The Taskmaster, Meng, The Barbarian, Lex Luger, Z Gangsta, and Ultimate Solution – Doomsday Cage Match

Going to be honest with you: I remember nothing about this match from when I watched it as a child. So this is essentially a brand new viewing for me. And I can confirm that in all of my years of watching wrestling, this is in the top five of worst matches ever. How anyone watching this show could support this is beyond me. It’s as if every single show during this time period was booked with only one objective in mind, and that was seeing how Hogan could overcome as many people on the roster as possible.

No one had a damn clue about the rules of this match, and when asked during the match, even Schiavone had no idea and sat there speechless. Even Hogan and Savage had no clue since they went to exit at the end and momentarily forgot to pin someone. So Hogan sent Savage back in there to pin Flair who was, you know, the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION at the time.

Every guy not named Hogan and Savage was destroyed in this match, including the red-hot Luger (although he didn’t look as bad as others). Zeus and Solution weren’t exactly dominant heels, but ultimately, it didn’t matter since we knew Hogan was squashing them all anyway. I have no idea how anyone could watch this match in real time in 1996 and not hate Hogan with a passion. This was brutal on every level imaginable, and it’s one of the worst ideas in the history of planet Earth.

BLAKE’S TAKE ON WCW UNCENSORED 1996

Overall Rating: 2.5/10

Thoughts: Not sure there’s ever been a main event that bad. Ever. It was a stupid idea that was created solely to try to get people to stop booing Hogan. And it only made people hate him even more. Even the kids in the crowd couldn’t support this ridiculousness. After the first two matches, this quickly became a total shitshow. Luckily, WCW would pivot soon and give the fans a different Hogan.

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