In this WWF Hottest Matches review, it’s a look at a classic WWF Coliseum Home Video release from 1990 that features Ted DiBiase vs. Shawn Michaels, Rick Martel vs. Tito Santana, and more.
Let’s jump in!
IN THE STUDIO: Sean Mooney teases that this is the greatest tape yet. We’ll decide that, Mooney! All the heat puns are pretty tremendous in this opening monologue.
‘The Model’ Rick Martel vs. Tito Santana
Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan are on commentary, so this is already a classic. Heenan says he put on a little Arrogance before his flight, and the flight attendants were all over him. They push the history between the former Strike Force duo, including some arguing over who carried the load for the team. Martel controls the early going, but Tito hits back-to-back dropkicks to reverse the momentum. Tito goes to work on Martel’s knee, and Gorilla approves of the strategy. Tito pulls out the toe hold, but Martel grabs the hair. Martel tries the leap frog but comes down on the injured hamstring, and Tito uses that to his advantage by ramming Martel’s leg around the steel ring post.
Tito attempts the Figure Four, but Martel rakes him in the eyes. Martel chokes Tito, and then it’s a sling shot into the bottom rope. Bodyslam from Martel, and he goes up top but Tito racks him. Tito bounces Martel’s head off the turnbuckle eight times, and then he dives out of the way of a flying cross body for two. Martel kicks Tito in the face, but Tito gets a small package for a near fall. Tito with a back body drop, and he hits the flying forearm…but Martel falls out of the ring. Martel grabs Arrogance, and he sprays Tito in the eyes with the referee down to score the win.
- Blake’s Take: I really enjoyed this. It was a nice sprint between two great workers, and you’ve got the best commentary duo ever narrating it move by move. *** (Recommended)
VIDEO: It’s a look at the history of the WWF Tag Team titles. Lord Alfred Hayes lists the essential attributes of the tag team champions on top of a replay of the WrestleMania IV match between Demolition and Strike Force. Ax uses the cane to hammer Martel, and that allows Smash to cover Martel to win the titles. We fast forward to Andre the Giant and Haku defeating Demolition on the December 30 edition of Superstars to win the belts. Another fast forward to WrestleMania VI, where Demolition won the rematch in Andre’s swan song in the WWF. It’s still one of the loudest pops you’ll hear on any WWF show. And now we head to SummerSlam 1990, with The Hart Foundation winning the titles thanks to an assist from the Legion of Doom. Another incredible crowd reaction there.
The Orient Express (w/Mr. Fuji) vs. The Rockers
This is the official Coliseum Home Video tag team match of the month. You could do much worse! Mooney and Alfred are on commentary. Quick start from Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty, with Jannetty working over Tanaka. However, Tanaka pulls the hair and we get the ‘ol switcheroo with Tanaka and Sato. As if referee Danny Davis is gonna do anything about it! He doesn’t care about the rules. Yet another switcheroo, and Davis is dumbfounded. Leapfrog from Jannetty, and he tags in Michaels who comes off the top on Sato. Michaels with a spinning neckbreaker for two. Jannetty with the MONKEY FLIP to Sato, but more underhanded tactics allow Sato to get back on track.
Sato with some chops in the corner, and double kicks to the midsection brings in Tanaka. He superkicks Jannetty to the outside, where Fuji hammers him in the back with the cane. Sato with a kick to Jannetty’s head, and it’s more teamwork from the heels. Jannetty tries to make the tag, but he can’t get there. Davis has his back turned again, which allows Tanaka and Sato another opportunity to kick Jannetty’s ass. Double clothesline….and here we go. Who will make the tag?! It’s Jannetty, and Michaels runs wild. Michaels with a big clothesline to Tanaka for two, and now all four men are in the ring. DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! They all take the fight to the outside, and Jannetty and Michaels slide in before the 10 count for the victory.
- Blake’s Take: Quality tag team work here. I was a fan of both teams, and even though it was a house show match, they brought good fun and entertainment. **1/2
IN THE STUDIO: Mooney has smoke around him because, you know, it’s the WWF’s hottest matches! Arthur Lacter from Brooklyn wants to see Dusty Rhodes vs. Greg Valentine. The issue is that Arthur’s postcard was burned to a crisp. Hottest matches and all. But have no fear, Arthur, we’re still getting the match!
‘The American Dream’ Dusty Rhodes vs. Greg ‘The Hammer’ Valentine (w/Jimmy Hart)
Mooney and Alfred are on commentary for this Wrestling Challenge match. Valentine works on the arm, but the BIONIC ELBOW from Dusty drops Valentine. More elbows and chops from Dusty, and Alfred thinks Valentine is a little too tense. Lighten up, Greg! Apparently, he does, as that motivational speech from Alfred leads to Valentine turning the momentum. Valentine goes to the chinlock, and then he hits a headbutt to the balls that no doubt affected the future Cody Rhodes. They haul off on each other, and Dusty hits a dropkick before delivering 10 punches in the corner.
Dusty goes for the Figure Four, but Valentine pokes him in the eyes. Valentine with a knee to the back of the leg, and that’s a move that would hurt. Valentine goes for the Figure Four, but Dusty rolls him up for two. Back to the chinlock for a bit, and Dusty gets out to hit some punches. Dusty throws Valentine into the corner, but Valentine hits a knee to the face. Valentine distracts the referee, and Hart goes up top with the megaphone, but Ronnie Garvin isn’t having that shit. He pulls Hart off the top, and Dusty rolls up Valentine for the win.
- Blake’s Take: If you’re looking for classics in every match, you won’t get it on these Coliseum Home Video tapes. I’m just entertained by the nostalgia and logical babyface vs. heel work, and that’s the formula they worked with yet another hot crowd. **
IN THE STUDIO: Mooney is sweating like a stuck pig! You can write to WWF Fan Favorites to request your own match. Postcards only, no paper. Because it’s the HOTTEST MATCHES!
WWF PROFILE: Alfred narrates a feature on Jake Roberts before throwing it to the next match.
Akeem (w/Slick) vs. Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts
We get the Mooney and Alfred commentary crew again for this one on Superstars. Jake goes for the quick DDT, but Akeem maneuvers out of it. Slick’s green suit is an all-time classic. Jake gets Akeem to the mat to focus on the arm. The action spills to the outside, and Akeem hits Jake from behind after he tries to go after the Slickster. Akeem squashes Jake on the ropes, and then Slick grabs Jake while the referee – a young Mike Chioda – has his back turned.
Akeem with a few knees to the midsection, but he can’t connect on a splash in the corner. That allows Jake to swing the momentum, as Akeem goes for the splash but Jake moves. Slick grabs Jake’s leg, and Jake goes after him. Slick jumps into the ring, and Jake throws Slick into Akeem. Chioda calls for the DQ for some reason. A manager can’t run into his own client? Jake hits the DDT on Slick, and Jake pulls out his snake but Akeem pulls Slick to safety.
- Blake’s Take: I need Chioda to go into the WWF rule book and show me where it says a manager touching his client is a DQ. Blasphemy! *1/2
VIDEO: Jake shows off all his snakes and sends a warning to Ted DiBiase and Virgil.
‘Million Dollar Man’ Ted DiBiase (w/Virgil) vs. Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts
And now it’s Gorilla and Mooney on commentary. A 2-on-1 start, but Jake sends Virgil reeling before going for the DDT on DiBiase. However, DiBiase comes out the back door to retreat. Gorilla and Mooney push Roberts’ neck injury history, with DiBiase trying to end his career. DiBiase nearly finds himself face to face with Damian, so he gets the hell out of there. Virgil hops on the apron to try to distract Jake, but Jake isn’t having it. Again, Jake goes for the DDT, but DiBiase successfully gets out of there. Gorilla says three of the best words in the English language as Jake grabs DiBiase and Virgil: DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER.
DiBiase goes after Jake’s neck, and Gorilla gives us a lesson on the vertebrae. Jake grinds the neck some more, while Gorilla says “look at Virgil, that piece of garbage.” Just the best. Jake turns the tide with an inverted atomic drop, and he slams DiBiase’s face right into the mat. Virgil is back on the apron, but Jake knocks him silly. Jake hits the short-arm clothesline and calls for the DDT, but Virgil attacks him from behind for the DQ. After the match, Virgil puts a headlock on Jake as DiBiase slaps Jake with hundred-dollar bills. DiBiase flaunts his money, but Jake wallops Virgil and does the same to DiBiase, who runs to the back. Jake hits the DDT on Virgil.
- Blake’s Take: Another match with incredible selling and babyface vs. heel work. The crowd was into it, even if it would be considered “slow” in the modern era. If the formula ain’t broke, don’t fix it. **1/2
IN THE STUDIO: This next match is presented by the WWF Magazine. Those were the days.
Haku (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake
A Wrestling Challenge match here with Mooney and Alfred on commentary. Beefcake’s ring attire fit the character, but it was still absurd. Haku hauls off, but Beefcake hits some punches and a kick to the midsection. Beefcake with an inverted atomic drop on Haku on the outside, and Haku wants a TIMEOUT. This is wrestling, Mr. Tonga! And since it is wrestling, Haku bites Beefcake right in front of referee Danny Davis. Brutal shoulder breaker from Haku to Beefcake, and it’s on to the chinlock. Heenan with some underhanded tactics, and Haku does the same with a rake to Beefcake’s eyes.
Alfred suggests Heenan may be reaching into his pocket for a cigarette, to which Mooney notes that you can’t do that ringside. Beefcake reverses the momentum, but when he goes for a back body drop, Beefcake stumbles and Haku just falls to the mat. That’s the biggest botch I’ve seen on these Coliseum Home Video tapes thus far. Beefcake locks in the sleeper, but her comes Heenan for the DQ. Beefcake puts the sleeper on Heenan, but Haku hammers him from behind. Beefcake grabs the clippers, so Haku and Heenan retreat.
- Blake’s Take: My least favorite of the HOTTEST MATCHES thus far. *
IN THE STUDIO: Mooney is DRENCHED in sweat. Get this man some AC.
MANAGER PROFILE: Sensational Sherri is the focus this month. She’ll do anything for Randy Savage. She was so awesome in this role.
IN THE STUDIO: Mooney is still frying, and he teases the next match as a potential match of the year candidate.
Ted DiBiase (w/Virgil) vs. Shawn Michaels (w/Marty Jannetty)
Maybe Mooney was onto something! Let’s find out in this Wrestling Challenge affair in San Antonio. DiBiase gets the better of the exchange early on, but Michaels shows off his athleticism with a flurry of dropkicks and arm drags. Quite a sequence there. DiBiase tries to regain the upper hand, but Michaels reverses into a hip toss to go back to the side headlock. Another dropkick from Michaels, and Gorilla and Alfred are impressed. DiBiase picks it up with some hard right hands, and then he sends Michael into a 360 spin after a huge clothesline. DiBiase gets pissed that he can’t finish of Michaels, and that allows Michaels a roll-up for a near fall.
DiBiase throws Michaels to the outside, and Jannetty keeps Virgil in check. Of course, as he does that, DiBiase throws Michaels off the steel railing. DiBiase with a suplex, but Michaels kicks out at two. DiBiase goes for the piledriver, but Michaels reverses into a backdrop. Double clothesline, and DiBiase is up first as he hits a bodyslam but misses on a back elbow drop off the top. Michaels with a series of offense, including another HIGH dropkick. Michaels hits a neckbreaker, and he hits a flying cross body off the top….but DiBiase kicks out at two! Michaels runs off the ropes, but Virgil grabs his leg. That sends Jannetty chasing after him, but DiBiase hits him with a clothesline and throws him back to the outside.
Jannetty is back on the apron to complain, and Virgil comes in to help DiBiase. However, Jannetty breaks through to go after them and there’s the DQ. Michaels and Jannetty send DiBiase and Virgil reeling after the match. In a funny twist, it’s announced that the match is a double countout, which Gorilla questions since both men were in the ring. But Mike McGuirk corrects herself.
- Blake’s Take: This was excellent until the non-finish, but you kind of know what to expect with these matches at this point. Michaels and DiBiase had fantastic chemistry, and it would have been great to have more one-on-one matches between these two. **** (Highly Recommended)
IN THE STUDIO: Mooney is FRIED as he throws it to the superstar workout.
VIDEO: The Power and Glory duo of Hercules and Paul Roma are ready to LIFT SOME WEIGHTS. The best part is them calling each other Power and Glory instead of their actual names, while wearing Zubaz pants. Some impressive dumbbell flyes from Herc. What an underrated duo. It’s time for the biceps workout! Roma says people should never expect to achieve the physique of Herc. They are STILL LIFTING WEIGHTS. And of course, both men are sweaty as the camera zooms in on their muscles. There is also lots of grunting. Am I watching Coliseum Home Video or Vivid? Starting to wonder, folks. This segment started and I figured they would do a few lifts, but this is one of the longest segments in the history of television.
IN THE STUDIO: Mooney has removed his jacket, and the man is DRIPPING sweat. What a transition from Power and Glory to that.
IN THE RING: Brother Love introduces ‘Macho King’ Randy Savage and Sensational Sherri.
‘Macho King’ Randy Savage and Sensational Sherri (w/Brother Love) vs. ‘The American Dream’ Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire (w/ Elizabeth)
Gorilla and Heenan are back on commentary for this Wrestling Challenge Match. Savage says “ooooohhhh yeah” on the mic, so Dusty grabs the mic and says he’s gonna whoop that “red-faced pumpkin’s ass.” Brother Love is HEATED. Brother says he’ll knock the polka dots right off of Dusty in a great exchange. I just realized this is a mixed tag team match because Sapphire and Sherri are beating the hell out of each other. Dusty and Savage are in, and that leads to Brother Love kicking Dusty on the outside. Savage with a flying axe handle, and Sherri taunts everyone. Savage with the sleeper, but Dusty fights out. Savage goes back up for the axe handle, but Dusty hits him in the midsection. Dusty goes for the pin, and Brother Love puts Savage’s foot on the ropes.
Dusty goes after Brother Love, but Sherri grabs him from behind. Brother Love accidentally hits a running knee into Sherri, which prompts Savage to argue with Brother Love. Dusty puts on the sleeper, and Sherri jumps in to go after Sapphire. Brother Love jumps off the top onto Dusty with the referee distracted with the women. Savage makes the tag, and so does Dusty. Sapphire picks up Sherri for the airplane spin and a slam, but Savage breaks up the pin. Brother Love throws a purse into the ring, and the referee has to act like he doesn’t see it as he dances around the thing. Hilarious. Sherri grabs the purse, but Elizabeth hits her with it. Sapphire then pins Sherri for the win. Gorilla calls Brother Love a “fat piece of garbage” to add insult to injury.
- Blake’s Take: The characters were awesome, but the match was not. *1/2
IN THE STUDIO: Mooney’s show notes are on fire now, so that’ll do it for the hottest matches. He starts spinning around in his chair with a fire extinguisher. Tremendous stuff.
BLAKE’S TAKE ON WWF HOTTEST MATCHES
Honestly, there are a few nice matches on this collection. That makes it recommended viewing, even if there’s a lot of fluff elsewhere. Still, it’s a formula that worked for the era, and many current wrestlers would LOVE to get a crowd reaction like the one you had in 95 percent of these matches.
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