Blake’s Starrcade 1989 Review: Future Shock!

The Starrcade 1989 review features the biggest show of the year for WCW, and they’ve decided to experiment with not one but two tournaments at the same event.

If you’re already wondering how they’re gonna pull this off, that should give you a good idea of how things unfold.

Let’s jump into Blake’s Starrcade 1989 review.

  • Date: December 13, 1989
  • Location: Omni Coliseum in Atlanta, GA

ON THE STAGE: Jim Ross welcomes us and he has Terry Funk and Jim Cornette with him to analyze the tournaments. Cornette explains the point system for the tag team tournament.

ON THE STAGE: All four tag teams are introduced as they stand on the stage. It’s worth noting that the Skyscrapers were scheduled to be in this but Sid punctured a lung after suffering a broken rib in the match at the Clash. So we’re getting the Wild Samoans instead. The Steiners easily get the biggest reaction. The incredible 1989 pyro goes off and Cappetta reminds us again of the scoring system as the teams stand around.

Doom (w/Woman and Nitron) vs. The Steiner Brothers – Iron Team Tournament

Scott and Simmons start things off before a Steiner line brings Rick into the fold. Cornette keeps reminding us of this silly point system, which is usually not a good thing if you’re having to repeat it this much. Big belly to belly suplex from Rick sends the crowd in a frenzy. Steiners continue to control the match for a while until Scott misses a clothesline and flies over the top onto the floor. That allows Nitron to go to work with the ref’s back turned. OFFICIATING WAS NOT WCW’S STRONG SUIT, FOLKS. Powerslam from Simmons gets a near fall and now Doom is on a roll with more underhanded tactics from Nitron on the outside.

Lots of double teams from Doom as Rick gets pissed. Huge spine buster from Simmons on Scott for another near fall. There’s only four minutes left in the time limit at this point, and Doom turns up the heat again. Suplex on Scott on the apron but he reverses it into a pinfall attempt BUT GUESS WHAT? There’s no referee as he’s distracted elsewhere. Scott reverses a piledriver attempt from Reed and hits a belly to belly suplex. Hot tag to Rick and he clotheslines the hell out of Doom.

Double team move from Doom and they send Rick into the ropes where he gets grabbed by Nitron. That sends Rick to the outside where he clotheslines Nitron to the ground. Both teams brawl outside and just as we think we’re getting the double countout, Rick sneaks in the ring before the 10 count to pick up the win at 12:24. This was decent, as the crowd was just so insane for the Steiners at this point in their careers.

• Rating: **

ON THE STAGE: Cappetta introduces us to the four participants in the Iron Man tournament. They are raising a separate curtain for all these guys and it’s taking forever for the curtains to actually come up.

Sting vs. Lex Luger – Iron Man Tournament

Ross and Funk say that Sting and Luger will control the direction of pro wrestling in the 90s, and they weren’t off by all that much. Luger hits the road to get to the back as soon as they get in the ring but Sting chases after him and brings him back in. Great sequence shortly after with Luger missing a clothesline and Sting walloping him with a clothesline of his own while on the apron. Splash from the apron into the ring gives Sting a two count. Sting keeps going wild and Luger retreats again to the outside. Luger grabs the legs and pulls Sting out to gain control for a second before Sting throws Luger’s head off the rail. Huge clothesline on Luger and this match is on pure cocaine right now.

Back inside and Sting immediately hits the cross body off the top for a near fall. Luger tries to counter another move but Sting hits him with another clothesline. Sting goes to work on the arm before Luger gives him the Irish whip into the corner, where Sting jumps off for the cross body and another two count. THIS MATCH IS ROCKET FUEL. Luger with another Irish whip but Sting hits the knee to block the offense. Dropkick and a two from Sting before he goes off the top for the cross body, but Luger catches him and hits the inverted atomic drop.

Luger in control now and he starts kicking Sting’s midsection like crazy. Luger sends Sting outside and throws him off the rail before he gives us the BOOB FLEX. Just incredible. Luger off the top with the double axe handle for a near fall and the time limit is now coming into play. Sting fights back with three minutes left and they exchange punches. Luger with a power slam and he goes for the rack but Sting gets out. Sting starts no-selling everything and goes on offense.

Sting with a suplex but he only gets a two count with a minute left. They fight on the apron and then we get a somewhat botched spot where the timing was clearly off as they clothesline each other back into the ring and Luger uses the ropes to get the pin at 11:31. Well, things started off hot but the finish left a lot to be desired.

• Rating: **1/2

Doom (w/Woman and Nitron) vs. The Road Warriors (w/Paul Ellering) – Iron Team Tournament

This should tell you a lot about the booking of this tournament, as it makes zero sense why Doom would be wrestling their second match before the Samoans have been in once. Ross explains its due to a random match order, which once again does not make sense. This was typical WCW trying to complicate things that really aren’t that complicated. Hawk and Animal in control early, and Doom has pretty much gotten zero offense in to this point in their two matches. Powerslam from Hawk and now Doom starts to get some offense.

Hawk gets in to try to turn the tide but he goes shoulder first into the post and flies to the outside. Slingshot under the bottom rope to Hawk as Cornette points out Bill Apter’s atrocious red sweater at ringside. Near fall on Hawk and Woman helps out a headlock by holding the feet with the ref unaware. Double team from Doom and the crowd is silent. Elbow off the top for two on Hawk and then another near fall after that. Crowd finally back into it with the CHINLOCK OF DOOM in full effect on Hawk. The chinlock may last the entire time limit at this point.

Animal gets the hot tag and eventually all four are in the ring. Ref gets distracted with Simmons and that allows Hawk to come off the top for the clothesline and Animal gets the pin at 8:31. This was not very good.

• Rating: *

The Great Muta (w/Gary Hart) vs. Ric Flair (w/Arn Anderson and Ole Anderson) – Iron Man Tournament

Quick start as Flair goes for the hip toss but Muta reverses. Kicks and fists from Muta before hitting the handspring elbow. The two go back and forth and then Flair goes to work on the leg. Flair locks in the Figure Four and Hart calls for help, which sends out the Dragonmaster and Buzz Sawyer. Arn and Ole go after them and Flair gets distracted.

Muta kicks Flair in the back and hits the backbreaker before going up top. But Flair gets the knees up and uses the inside cradle to earn the pin at 1:55. So, Muta goes from unbeatable to losing via a small package in under two minutes. Considering that this felt like one of the biggest matches on the card, this was a total disappointment.

• Rating: 1/2*

The Steiner Brothers vs. The Road Warriors (w/Paul Ellering) – Iron Team Tournament

The burnout is real for the crowd at this point and we’re only five matches into the show. The crowd also have no idea what to do since these are the two most popular teams in the company. Huge clothesline from Hawk on Rick for a two count. Rick hits a big clotheslines on Animal and Cornette points out that the crowd doesn’t know what to do. Belly to belly from Rick and Hawk comes in to break up the pin. Military press and slam from Hawk on Scott before Rick makes the save. Big boot from Hawk to Scott for another two count.

Belly to belly from Scott to Animal and two count again. Hawk and Animal regain control and the crowd is still quiet. Scott delivers a belly to belly off the top to Hawk and it’s a botch as Hawk nearly loses his head. That was just brutal to watch. Hawk quickly gets a tag and he’s clearly in pain on the outside. Ellering goes over to check on him to make sure he’s fine.

More back and forth, with Rick coming in to break up a pin. That infuriates Hawk who may have a concussion at this point. All four men brawl in the ring and we get Hawk off the top while Animal holds Scott. And wouldn’t you know it, but this leads to Animal going for the bridge pin on Scott and the ref counts the three as Scott throws his arm up. Animal’s arms were apparently down, so we get another shit finish with the Steiners getting the win at 7:27.

Not only is it idiotic to have these two teams face off in this setting, but it’s even more idiotic to have the Steiners essentially be handed a controversial win which forces a segment of the crowd to now boo them. The match was boring and did not make anyone look good.

• Rating: *

The Great Muta (w/Gary Hart) vs. Sting – Iron Man Tournament

Muta in control early as Funk reminds us that a draw does nothing for either man. Sting with a snap suplex for two and then he works on the arm. Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock but Muta retreats outside as Hart massages Muta’s belly. That’s a dedicated manager right there. Nice elbow drop from Muta and then he goes for the bridge submission. Sting reverses over and eventually gets a military press slam for a near fall. Another two count and Sting goes back to the chin lock.

Muta drives Sting to the corner and hammers away on him. That leads to Muta going up top for the moonsault but Sting moves, with Muta managing to land on his feet and deliver a big kick. Muta back up top and Sting drop kicks him, which leaves Muta straddled. Sting goes up and hits the superplex to grab the victory at 8:41. Muta loses yet again, but it was a pretty entertaining match.

• Rating: **1/2

ON THE STAGE: Ross, Cornette, and Funk discuss the standings.

The Wild Samoans (w/The Big Kahuna) vs. Doom (w/Woman and Nitron) – Iron Team Tournament

Now we really get a taste of how bad this concept is with fans having to decide how to respond to two heel teams fighting each other. Huge slam from Samoan Savage gets zero reaction from the crowd, and they have pretty much boycotted this match at this point. Cappetta tells us five minutes have gone by, and that’s four minutes and 30 seconds too long for this thing.

Business picks up a little when Reed heaves Savage outside into the railing. Back inside and double team from Doom with ref’s back turned. That leads to a horrible looking body slam, and Fatu gets a mild tag which leads to a four-man brawl. Humperdink pulls some shenanigans and Fatu gets the pin at 8:22. This was atrocious.

• Rating: DUD

Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair – Iron Man Tournament

Luger with some early stalling at he berates the crowd. It’s hilarious how many fans were openly giving the heels the middle finger in this era. They didn’t give a damn. Side headlock from Luger and then he retreats again when Flair starts to make a comeback. That doesn’t work for long as Flair chops the boob muscles out of Luger. Flair then goes for the wrist lock as Luger takes the time to yell at the fans mid-hold. This version of Luger was simply the best. However, what was not the best was his chest as it looks rough after the chops.

Luger eventually gets out of the hold but Flair hits the double-arm suplex for a near fall. Luger throws Flair down by the hair but that leads to another insane chop. Extended arm lock from Flair until Luger gets the eye rack to regain control. Sunset flip from Flair gets a two, then a quick inside cradle gets another two. Flair with another pin attempt and now it’s back to the wrist lock. Luger takes advantage by dropping Flair across the rope. Luger with more offense as he kicks in the corner as Flair is selling like a champ.

Big clothesline from Luger before dropping three straight elbows to the chest for a near fall. There’s lots of talk of the time limit at this point, so it’s safe to assume where this is headed. Luger sends Flair to the outside, and when Flair gets back on the apron, Lugers hits the STONE COLD STUNNER which sends Flair down on the apron. Luger goes for a suplex but Flair counters to send both men to the mat. Flair reverses a Luger move and gets two and a half. They exchange punches and chops, and then we get an awesome sequence where Flair flips in the corner and runs to the opposite turnbuckle to come off the top, but Luger counters with a vicious clothesline. That leads to another two count on Flair.

Another reversal from Flair leads to a near fall on Luger, and the crowd has lost their minds at this point. Punches from Luger in the corner, and we’re down to a minute left in the time limit. Flair goes up top but Luger throws him off. Luger goes for the elbow but misses, and Flair hits the suplex and locks in the Figure Four. Luger hangs on for about 15 seconds which leads to the draw at what was actually 17:15. It had its slow moments, but easily the best thing on the show thus far.

• Rating: ***

The Wild Samoans (w/The Big Kahuna) vs. The Steiner Brothers – Iron Team Tournament

We get what feels like an hour’s worth of taunting from both teams before bell even rings, which isn’t ideal on a bloated show like this one. Rick hits the Steiner line and apparently he yanked out one of Fatu’s braids in the process. Rick puts it in his own hair as Humperdink leads the Samoans down the aisle way. For some reason the referee decides to not even start a count and instead just strolls down the tell them to get back to the ring. Even Ross says it’s bad officiating.

Back inside where Rick hits another huge clothesline to send Fatu reeling. Savage makes a switch with Fatu without the ref noticing, and now we’ve got Rick and Savage on all fours. Scott gets the tag and we get another Steiner line. Cornette is awesome on commentary here, but that’s no surprise. Samoans go for a double team with Rick gets back in but it’s botched and Fatu gets nailed. That leads to Fatu jumping in and pushing Savage. They eventually hug and Scott gets sent outside before getting his Steiners racked on the steel rail.

More double teaming from the Samoans as they are legitimately going to work on Scott’s penis and balls. The penis and balls attack works every time, folks. Scott gets thrown over the top as apparently we’re already 10 minutes into this thing. Bearhug on Scott and more double teaming from the Samoans as Rick is losing it. Back to the bearhug and a power slam gets a two on Scott.

Eventually we get the Frankensteiner from Scott that pretty much gets no sold as Savage gets the tag in. Only a minute left in the time limit as there’s confusion whether Rick tagged in, but he runs wild on the Samoans and since this company can’t get out of its own way, the referee confuses the hell out of everyone by calling for the DQ on Rick at 14:05. One of the dumbest finishes in company history, and that’s saying something.

Rating: *

The Great Muta (w/Gary Hart) vs. Lex Luger – Iron Man Tournament

Luger really sells the leg on the way to the ring after the Figure Four from Flair, and that is a lost art these days. Luger goes up for a leapfrog and immediately the knee gives way. Muta goes right after it with vicious kicks that send Luger outside. Muta continues his attack for a bit until Luger tries to go on offense but the leg gives out again as he goes for a suplex. The referee is repeatedly asking Luger if he wants to stop the match, but Muta has no desire to stop kicking ass.

More begging from Luger for Muta to stop but that doesn’t happen. Handspring elbow from Muta, and he goes at the leg once again. Luger breaks out and hits a few elbows before getting a two count. Muta side sweeps the leg again as Ross and Funk remind us that the crowd is clueless as to what the hell to do since they hate both men. Muta with an INVERTED INDIAN DEATHLOCK before destroying the leg yet again. Now with four minutes to go as Muta hits a vicious karate kick and a dropkick. But Luger gets a burst of energy and hits a clothesline.

The two men exchange punches and we’re at two minutes. Luger slings Muta outside and Hart helps him onto the apron. Muta flips over and Luger tries to hold onto the rope for leverage but the ref kicks his arm away with force before a quick two from Muta. Powerslam from Luger and we’re at a minute. Luger goes for the rack but the leg doesn’t allow it and Muta blows the mist in Luger’s face for the DQ at 14:15. Another terrible finish, but the DQ was obvious considering that anything else would’ve given Luger the tournament victory.

• Rating: **1/2

The Wild Samoans (w/The Big Kahuna) vs. The Road Warriors (w/Paul Ellering)

If the Warriors get a pin or submission, they win the tournament. If the Samoans win in any form or fashion, they win the tournament. But folks, if it’s a draw, the Steiners and Samoans will have a WRESTLE-OFF to decide the winner. Let’s hope someone wins this match so we don’t have to see that again. Piledriver right from the start from Fatu, but Animal no sells that thing and clotheslines him. Hawk in and Savage nearly breaks his neck with an awful belly to belly suplex. No one is selling a damn thing here. You’ve gotta love it.

More back and forth until we get what looks like another botched spot where Fatu goes for a back drop and Animal barrels into him and they both just fall down. Savage goes up top for a big move but Animal moves and gets the hot tag to Hawk. Flying shoulder block and here comes the four-man brawl. Fatu gets racked after going for a top rope move, and then we get another botch-like sequence where Animal goes to miss a clothesline but runs into Savage.

That leads to him stumbling over to catch a clothesline off the top from Hawk for the win at 5:18. The Road Warriors win the tournament, but this match was horrendous. The Steiners come into congratulate them after the match.

• Rating: DUD

Sting vs. Ric Flair – Iron Man Tournament

Ross asks Funk to explain who needs to win here, and I’m as confused as ever. Basically a win for either man gives them the tournament a draw gives Luger the tournament. Hip toss from Sting and Flair retreats to the outside. Flair sits Sting on the turnbuckle and then backs away for some reason. Great back and forth sequence and Sting delivers the military press slam as Flair gets angry and gives Sting a hard shove. But Sting returns the favor and sends Flair reeling. Sting gets a near fall and Flair gets up to chop him silly. More chops from Flair but Sting regains control with back-to-back dropkicks.

Clothesline from Sting gets another two count. Flair tosses Sting outside and then throws him into the steel railing. Funk plays up Flair embracing his bad side here. Flair snaps Sting’s neck off the top rope and then suplexes him back into the ring for a two count. Flair drops the knee to Sting’s head and then gets an abdominal stretch into near fall, with Flair now yelling at the ref to count faster. Another big suplex for a near fall and Flair is getting pissed. Double-arm suplex from Flair gets yet another two count. He slings Sting into the corner but Sting fires back with a huge clothesline to send Flair retreating.

Chops on the outside and Sting ain’t selling that shit. Back on the apron, and Sting flips over for the pin but Flair nails him in the head. Flair goes to suplex Sting outside but Sting reverses and suplexes back in the ring for a two. Sting gets Flair in the corner and hits some punches before a hip toss and clothesline for two. That leads to Sting whipping Flair into the corner and it’s STINGER SPLASH time as Flair hits the mat. Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Lock and locks it in but Flair gets to the ropes. Flair now locks in the Figure Four but Sting gets to the ropes. Two minutes left as Flair goes to work on the leg. More chops from Flair and he keeps going after the leg.

Flair gets the headlock but we get a bridge up with Sting taking him over for a two count. One minute now and Flair delivers more damage to the leg. Flair now just strutting around with 30 seconds left and he goes for the Figure Four but Sting grabs him for the inside cradle to win the tournament at 14:30. Arn Anderson and Ole Anderson hit the ring as Flair holds Sting’s arm up. Arn then does the Four Horsemen signal to signify Sting’s involvement with the group. The only match on the show that came anywhere close to great.

• Rating: ***3/4

ON THE STAGE: Gordon Solie with the Road Warriors, who talk about their win. Gordon cuts off Animal as they just sit there and wait for Sting. The credits then roll as we hear Flair start his interview. So Sting wins the thing, and the show goes off the air just as he’s starting his interview. Makes sense.

SHOW SUMMARY

Aside from the main event, this show was terrible. Having two tournaments in one night was a stupid idea on all levels, and the booking and moronic finishes didn’t help matters at all.


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