Here it is, the very first Royal Rumble. It would certainly evolve over the years from what it was here, but the Royal Rumble 1988 review still features quality action and fun.
Once again, the WWF and the NWA put on shows on the same day, as the promotion down south put on Bunkhouse Stampede, which was a show for the ages in all the wrong ways.
But we’ll get to that one. Let’s dive right into Blake’s Royal Rumble 1988 review.
- Date: January 24, 1988
- Location: Copps Coliseum in Hamilton, Ontario
ANNOUNCE BOOTH: Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura hype up the night’s big events.
Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat
This is already the greatest PPV ever. Rude vs. Steamboat to start things off? Outstanding. No chance this match is getting less than 10 stars from me.
Jesse brings up Rude’s physique and Vince essentially starts salivating and foaming at the mouth. There’s a fan in the front row with a megaphone that starts chanting “Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.” Is that aimed to anger Rude? Someone take her megaphone. She is seriously one of the most annoying fans ever with this megaphone.
Fan stupidity aside, these two work an average match. There are a lot of rest holds and it’s the definition of a slow build. Steamboat starts to gain some momentum and we get a couple of near falls. Then….ref bump! Rude throws the ref in the way and then apparently makes Steamboat submit. The bell rings, and as Rude is celebrating in the aisle, we of course get the announcement of Steamboat as the winner by DQ at 16:40.
• Rating: **1/2
IRON PUMPING: Dino Bravo is out here for Jesse’s weightlifting challenge, while Frenchy Martin speaks incoherently. Bravo is as juiced as Hawaiian Punch. He’s going for a world bench press record and asks the fans to be totally silent. Tell that to megaphone woman. He easily destroys the warmup weight. Bravo then destroys 505 pounds as Gene Okerlund gives the play by play. Vince has to be creaming himself. This segment is horrible. Gene is yelling at the crowd for making noise as Bravo continues to get upset. We’re only at like 595 or something like that and he still has to get to 705. THIS SEGMENT HAS LEGITIMATELY GONE OVER 15 MINUTES NOW. He gets the record with Jesse’s help. This was awful on every possible level.
Jumping Bomb Angels vs. (c) The Glamour Girls – Women’s Tag Team Titles
We discussed the Bomb Angels’ awesomeness in the Survivor Series 1987 review. Surprised there are no “Bomb Angels win or we riot” signs in the crowd, because these two should never lose.
It is 100% clear who the better team is here. They were undoubtedly the best tag team in the promotion by about a million miles, so of course the Glamour Girls win the first fall by default. Yeah, had no idea it was a 2-out-of-3 falls match. Luckily the Angels get the second fall much to the crowd’s approval.
We get a double dropkick from the Bomb Angels and I kid you not, the crowd erupts as they score the pin and the titles at 15:21. They go completely bonkers, as they should. The match was excellent, and it was proof that the Bomb Angels were stars due to their unique style. Unfortunately, this would be their only title win in the WWF. I hadn’t seen much of their work prior to this era, but going back and rewatching them, they were so ridiculously good.
• Rating: ***1/2
VIDEO: We get the replay of Hogan vs. Andre at WrestleMania 3. And then we get Hogan turning down the Million Dollar Man’s offer for the WWF title belt. That sets up our next segment.
IN THE RING: It’s time for the Hogan/Andre contract signing. Hogan is wearing the most 80s outfit imaginable. Jack Tunney makes an appearance. No reason to fully analyze this signing. It’s like every wrestling contract throughout the history of time. Stalling, delaying, and an eventual fight that results in Hogan getting beat down by Andre.
The 1988 Royal Rumble Match
Trivia: Who were the first two men to ever enter a Royal Rumble match? Bret Hart and Tito Santana. And Butch Reed is in at No. 3. Jim Neidhart at No. 4 and Santana is getting his ass kicked by the other three men at this point. Yet somehow these three men can’t throw Santana over the top. Business picks up at Jake Roberts is No. 5 and immediately tosses Reed. Bret hits a nasty piledriver on Santana at one point. Harley Race in at No. 6. Jim Brunzell is into the mix at No. 7. Keep in mind he eliminated Bret at Survivor Series. If only that had led to Brunzell vs. Yokozuna at WrestleMania IX, which may have made it a better show. Sam Houston is here at No. 8. The Hart Foundation send Santana packing after a good showing. Danny Davis in at No. 9 to give us the dream showdown of Danny Davis vs. Sam Houston.
Harley now doing acrobatics with the ropes while Jake tries to send him over. Boris Zhukov is your No. 10 entrant. Don Muraco is in at No. 11 and Nikolai Volkoff tries to take his spot but that doesn’t happen. Zhukov gets eliminated. And now Nikolai Volkoff is your official No. 12 as Harley gets dropped over by Muraco. Let’s all welcome Hacksaw Jim Duggan at the No. 13 position. Jesse says: “this is Duggan’s style of match because he certainly knows nothing about wrestling.” Jesse for President! Oh wait.
Brunzell gets eliminated by Volkoff, so essentially, Volkoff is now better than Bret. Ron Bass is No. 14. B. Brian Blair is No. 15. Hillbilly Jim at No. 16 and he tosses Neidhart instantly. Dino Bravo is on at No. 17 after ruining the show with a 30-minute bench press earlier. Houston gets thrown out. Forgot to mention that a moment ago, Hacksaw was basically hugging Volkoff and patting him on the head during a rest spot in the corner. Hoooooooooo.
And here’s the Ultimate Warrior at No. 18. Bret is finally thrown out by Muraco. One Man Gang is here to destroy someone at No. 19. And we round out the group with Junkyard Dog at No. 20. Volkoff gets tossed, as does Hillbilly Jim. Davis gets clotheslined out by Hacksaw. Warrior then gets thrown out to no reaction at all. That’ll change soon. JYD gets thrown out by Bass and then Muraco tosses Bass. The first ever Royal Rumble final four: One Man Gang, Hacksaw, Bravo, and Muraco. The latter two are brought to you by Vince McMahon’s dreams.
Muraco goes bye-bye thanks to Bravo. The bad guys team up on Hacksaw, and you all know where this is headed. Gang accidentally knocks out Bravo and then Hacksaw eliminates the Gang for the win at 33:00. Not much star power in this one, but for a first Royal Rumble, it was enjoyable enough.
• Rating: ***
ON THE STAGE: Hogan is pissed and sweating like he just ran a marathon. He hypes the Andre match.
The Islanders vs. The Young Stallions
Yes, this was the main event of the first-ever Royal Rumble. This was total Saturday Night’s Main Event style. If you remember from the Survivor Series 1987 show, Jim Powers got an insane amount of time in the ring during the 20-man tag match, and now gets awarded with a main event appearance.
And also as we saw during the awesome Survivor Series match, the tag team scene was loaded. Islanders control the match early, and yet again, the highlight is Jesse calling Vince a racist after he makes a comment about one of the Islanders hanging over the top rope or something. Roma gets counted out to give the Islanders the first fall. This was a sell job of Dolph Ziggler proportions with Roma selling a knee injury.
In case you wanted to care about this main event, Vince doesn’t let you as we cut to an interview on the stage with Andre and DiBiase after the first fall. The Islanders and Stallions are just in the ring chillin’ I guess. Actually Roma was being tended to in the back after the knee “injury.”
In a good bit of storytelling, the match ends with Roma showing grit to get back into the ring, but Haku forces him to submit to score the victory for the Islanders at 14:00.
• Rating: **
Blake’s Royal Rumble 1988 Awards
- Best Match: Jumping Bomb Angels vs. The Glamour Girls
- Royal Rumble 1988 MVP: Jumping Bomb Angels
- Royal Rumble 1988 Rating: 6.0/10
- Thoughts: Solid effort for the first Rumble. The Rumble itself was good, but to be honest, the Jumping Bomb Angels were the highlight of the show. It’s insane that Vince didn’t take advantage of their popularity because the people absolutely loved them. Of course, the bigger picture here is that the Rumble changed the entire landscape of the company forever.
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